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Anyone close to me? - ga_christians

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September 23rd, 2006

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07:11 pm - Anyone close to me?
Hi ya'll,

I just stumbled across this community and thought I'd join and see what it was all about - seeing how I have lived in Ga my whole entire life. LOL. 
So, I just thought I'd introduce myself. My name is Amanda and I am 20 years old.
I  live in Gwinnett. Anybody near by? I love meeting people who live close to me. 
I have absolutely NO friends :-(
I was born 14 weeks early and weighed only one pound and nine ounces. I was 12" long. Due to being born so early, I developed cerebral palsy which affects my walking. I can walk for very short distances (like out to car and back into house) with crutches. For longer distances, I use a manual wheelchair. It truly is a miracle that I'm alive. The doctors actually suggested that my parents just let me die. It was predicted that I would be deaf and blind, never be able to sit up by myself, feed myself, {the list goes on and on}... basically, I would be in a vegetative state my whole life and have no quality of life whatsoever.
Because of my disability, I have VERY low (almost non-existent) self-esteem. Deep down I know I could be MUCH worse off, but on the surface, I hate myself (well, I hate my disability, but to me, my disability IS me... does that make sense?)
I am EXTREMELY self-conscious. I hate being a burden to people, and I always feel like when people say I'm not a burden they are just saying it to be nice.
I still live at home and can't drive (I need hand-controls to be able to drive), and in my mind nobody wants to be friends with a 20-year-old who still lives at home, can't drive, and is always depressed and stuff.

Oh wow... this post is getting long. I'm sorry for boring ya'll with my long rant about my pathetic life. *cry*
Current Location: In my living room
Current Mood: blahblah
Current Music: 104.7 ~ The Fish

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